Things are slowly getting back into a rhythm. Not the old rhythm; just a different rhythm. Time propels us forward, somehow.

Oliver brought home a form for first grade registration. FIRST GRADE. He’s more than ready for it (he can read quite a bit, he knows more about the solar system than I do, and he can even do math with parentheses, which is crazy), so I’m very proud and excited for him–yet I’m terribly sad he’s growing up so fast. And then there is the question of Andrew possibly starting preschool in the fall (just a few mornings a week), but first comes potty training. He shows every sign of being ready; I just don’t want to start training while we’re in the chaotic in-and-out process of selling and moving.

We suspended house showings last week but now we’re back on the available list, and we have another open house coming up. I pray that we can sell in the next 3 months because I can’t imagine trying to do this with a newborn. I’m also praying a certain townhouse in PA stays available until we sell. It’s lovely, it’s in our price range, AND it’s in an excellent school district. More than likely, someone else will take it first, but it’s hard not to hope it waits for us.

In pregnancy-related news, yesterday was my 24-week appointment. The little guy is doing well and I’m feeling pretty good myself. I’ve “only” gained 25lb (I was +31 or 32 lb by this point last time), but unfortunately I started out 10lb heavier than before the previous two pregnancies, so my goal is to gain 45lb or less (I gained 51lb with Oliver and 58lb with Andrew). On the bright side, I found a solution to my milk aversion a few weeks ago: coconut milk! LOVE. I first tried it last spring when I went dairy-free for 2 months, and now I don’t know if I’ll ever go back. They also make coconut milk ice cream, except that probably wouldn’t help my previously mentioned weight goal (boo).

I also cheered myself up with some Etsy goodness. This little guy won’t need anything in the way of clothes, since he has a TON of hand-me-downs from his big brothers, but I still wanted to buy something that would be his very own. And this earflap beanie was the perfect first gift. (The gracious seller even made a shorter, velcro-ended chin strap for me, since our baby will actually be wearing it, and I worried about the long strings on the photo prop version. Yay for understanding moms!) I guess you were meant to be a Boy Mama when you don’t shed a tear about missing out on dresses but you totally melt over a little “mom” heart tattoo hat.

Mommy may have a real tattoo, but this is as close as YOU’RE getting, Mister.

Then I contacted another wonderful Etsy seller from whom I bought jewelry in the past, and she is using a sketch I sent to make me a custom necklace that incorporates all three boys’ first initials. The final version just awaits baby’s birth and official naming in June! And no, we’re still not telling anyone his name until then. That remains a secret between my mom and me.♥

These are all just details. But I don’t want these details to get lost, even at a time of grief. They give me focus and balance and hope. It’s in the details that I can still find my mother… and myself.