One of my best friends gave me the ornament below in 2005 when I was pregnant with Oliver; now it’s hanging on our tree again for good luck…

…because George and I found out this morning that we got our Christmas wish: the gift itself is on backorder until August 2009. Needless to say, we’re overjoyed!

I debated about posting our news here, as we are not telling anyone in real life except my parents for now, and we’re only telling them because we’ll need them to babysit Oliver when we go for an ultrasound next month (obviously, George will come with me this time). But despite what happened three months ago today, I don’t think it would do me any good to keep this a secret from all of YOU. The truth is, I’m really, really scared. And it’s going to be really, really hard to keep my sh*t together in public . I need to put on my poker face for the rest of the world… but not here.

I only ask you not to mention this anywhere (Twitter, Flickr, etc) just yet, and to keep this little one in your prayers, too, as we wait and hope.

All I can think about is that the baby’s heart is supposed to start beating in week five. It WILL start beating. It’s got to. My own heart depends on it.